motor vehicle

It’s a motor vehicle. It has four wheels, an engine, and the ability to transport you from one location to another. No badges, no branding—just pure, unfiltered car. Every purchase gets you a completely random yet painfully generic automobile. Is it a Camry? An Accord? An Altima? Who knows. What matters is that it’s Motor Vehicle.

Features: It has them

• Engine: Yes.

• Wheels: Four, included at no extra cost. Maybe even a 5th as a spare.

• Transmission: Automatic, because let’s be honest, you weren’t going to drive stick anyway. (Unless you want the extra work.)

• Drive Type: Front-wheel-drive, rear-wheel drive, all-wheel drive, 4x4... depends on what we send, tbh.

• Air Conditioning: Most likely.

• Paint Color: You’ll find out when it arrives.

Comes With: Stuff

• One (1) Motor Vehicle with all identifying badges removed.

• A legally binding document that declares you as the rightful owner of “Motor Vehicle.”

• A fuel level that could be anywhere from full to "good luck finding a gas station."

• An owner’s manual for some car, though probably not the one you get.

Warranty: Haha

• Absolutely no written or expressed warranty.

• If something breaks, congratulations, you now own Broken Motor Vehicle.

• Greg from marketing says it's "certified pre-owned" but we legally can't say that.

Made In: Idk, we literally don't know what we're sending you.

Actual notice to buyers: You are actually purchasing a real car. It will come with a title, bill of sale, and other documentation. We will wash and service the car before sending it to you, and make a genuine effort to send you a good car.