What is this website?

This is OopsNoBrand.com, where we sell products. You can buy them. Or don’t. Greg from marketing says we should call it a “bold reimagining of modern consumerism,” but Greg also tried to expense a $400 lunch at Arby’s, so take that as you will.

Are your products high quality?

Absolutely. Every item meets our extremely rigorous quality control process, which involves looking at it once and saying, “Yeah, that’s probably fine.” Seriously though, everything is hand-picked and designed.

Can I return something if I change my mind?

No. You made your choice. Live with it.

What do I get when I buy Literally Nothing?

Nothing. You’ll receive a certificate of ownership proving that you now legally possess nothing. This is perfect for people who have everything, want less, or just enjoy setting their money on fire.

What’s the difference between Literally Nothing and Literally Nothing (EU Compliance Version)?

Great question. Much like cars in the U.S. and Europe, Literally Nothing (EU Compliance Version) comes with stricter regulations, additional paperwork, and slightly different emissions systems that ultimately don’t affect your experience at all. While U.S. Literally Nothing is raw and unfiltered, EU Literally Nothing has an extra catalytic converter, a particulate filter, and an official digital download that also contains nothing. Additionally, the EU version comes with a 14-day cooling-off period, during which you can reconsider your purchase and still end up with absolutely nothing.

I bought the $200 Light Switch. What makes it special?

It’s a light switch. It turns things on and off. The real question is, what makes you special for buying it? You are now part of an elite club of people who saw a $200 light switch and thought, "Yeah, I need that."

Wait, is the Motor Vehicle actually a car?

Yes. It is a real vehicle with zero badges that simply says “Motor Vehicle” on it. No logos, no branding—just pure, uncut, car. It is, by every definition, a motor vehicle of all time.

Who is Greg from Marketing?

Greg is a liability, but he’s also the only one who understands how to set up the email campaigns, so we just kind of let him do his thing. He’s been on thin ice since the Arby’s incident, but he still somehow has admin privileges.

Can I suggest a product?

Absolutely! We love ideas. Suggest it here. Just know that if it’s too good, Greg will claim he thought of it to give himself another undeserved raise. He manages all the emails going in and out, so be careful.

Is this a money laundering front?

No. But that’s exactly what a money laundering front would say.

Will you ship to my country?

We ship almost everywhere, but if you live somewhere that requires excessive paperwork, please understand that Dan is handling shipping logistics, and he still hasn’t figured out how to print two-sided documents. So, if your country requires more than one form, you’re probably out of luck.

How do I pay?

We accept PayPal, credit/debits cards, and possibly good vibes if you send us a convincing enough email.

What is "The Genuine Original"?

Great question. It is The Genuine Original. It is the product. The most product. A mystery box of unknown contents, chosen by forces beyond mortal comprehension (a.k.a. Greg from Marketing, probably).

But what’s actually inside?

We don’t even know. Maybe it’s something cool, maybe it’s something weird, maybe it’s just packing peanuts with a deeply unsettling note inside. The only guarantee is that you now own The Genuine Original™, and no one can take that away from you.

Is every box different?

Yes. Every box is 100% unique and individually curated, in the sense that we put random things in a box and ship it to you.

What if I don’t like what I get?

That’s a you problem.

Can I return it?

No. You don’t return The Genuine Original™. It returns you.

What’s the price?

Just look at it's product page???

Is this just Greg cleaning out his desk and calling it a product?

No. (Probably.)